Oh That Dentist.....

Lets discuss the dentist, the ones who fill your mouth full of gadgets then ask you questions after they have done so and then of course expect an answer but the disturbing part is they usually understand. I am wondering if they have a class to learn gibberish or have they just acquired this skill from being around it all day, is it like an awarded thing like "here my Padawan" or is there some kind of chart they study? I am starting to think their sadists who may have allegedly invented the electric chair....There were no dentists harmed in the making of this post, just the patients....

Let Me Check

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtain for serial killers, if you do find one, whats your plan??  Are you suddenly gonna turn into a ninja and go all bippity boppity boo on them? I think you ask too much of reality and even fantasy, i am sure they have much better things to do than conjure you superhero abilities. Not very well thought out i am thinking. Plus i do not believe the latest trend for serial killers is hiding behind a curtain, they fall from ceilings instead. I think they watch too much mission impossible...and i think you do too since your checking behind shower curtains in the dark.....

Gas Of Mass Destruction...

I realize farting is a natural body function but my mom is so full of gas that its becoming a global problem. She has more gas than the entire free world. Scientist may discover a new hole in the ozone layer as a result. I am thinking of selling her to the Military, she could be a nerve gas of some sort. It would certainly give nuclear warfare a whole new meaning. I will say she developed on her own, and someone recommended i "jizz" it up as if i had any, all the men hoard it! Stingy! Ok sorry back to the real gas leak...i will try to keep u apprised of any news. Hope to see you all again when i next offend your sensibilities.....

Poop Inspector.....

Breaking news!!!!! This is here she is again live from Narnia! The poop king has arrived in the form of my son and its quite disturbing,he has some sort of obsession with it. Baby talking his or his girlfriends is not uncommon. He studies it like it is a work of art and leaves it for others to see like some kind of trophy. Retina burn please!!!!!!!!!! I am almost positive he was switched at birth. He is home this week, probably for some sort of poop convention. One can only hope he will leave his crap there.......

A Quacks Tale.......

 So someone told me that swans hiss and spit...now the first thing is what were they doing to the swan at the time???? Furthermore did anyone catch the spit thing...as opposed to what? Swallowing? Another disturbing little tidbit is that they went on to say that the Romans had sex with geese and then of course broke their necks at the end which is in itself is quite appalling and i am pretty sure i will not be dating them. At this point i am almost convinced there is just no turning back and it gets more and more disturbing with each second.  I believe we should alert the ASPCA of this duck defiler! lock up your rubber duckys and for goodness sake lets spread the word in the duck community of this atrocity!   DISCLAIMER: NO DUCKS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS POST, ANY NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE DUCKS PRIVACY AND THIS PART OF THE SCREEN RIGHT HERE IS MINE, I LICKED IT!

Something Resembling English

Holy cookie dough Batman someone please tell me why do we bother pushing one for English??? we still get someone that can't speak it???. I completely understand that there are people that exist that speak different languages, i just do not understand when you work with a mostly english speaking public that you cannot attempt to learn something resembling it. People i am not fluent in gibberish and i doubt i shall be anytime soon. People better watch their P's & Q's before I start handing out F's and u's!.....

Caps Lock

We all have them so do not deny it...those things you really hate because they get on your last nerve. I have several pet peeves and one of them is the whole "internet" bravery thing because let's be honest most of them are cowards hiding behind a computer. Oh wow. You're gonna fight me over the Internet? What's the worst you can do, caps-lock my ass? We have all met them at some point and you instantly know their cowards in disguise. Yes people your secret is out, the tribe has spoken. Its almost like everyone is playing a part on the internet these days which in itself is quite disturbing...therapy much???...i am still not sure how the hell they manage it because i fail miserably at one person, fuck being two.....

Just a sayin.....

Don't you hate some of those silly sayings that you hear everyone say and eventually end up saying yourself....like "its always in the last place you look" now i do not know about you but my thinking is of course its in the last place, who finds something and then continues to look!?!???. Or the "words can't hurt you" i say if you think words cannot hurt you then obviously you have not thrown a dictionary at someone with enough force. My least favorite is "tit for tat" ok so if it's "tit for tat", what the hell is a tat? and do I really want to trade my tit for it??.........

Winnie What?!?!?

You know i was watching Winnie the pooh today and i realized a disturbing fact....that children's movie/show is obviously based upon psychological problems (think about it)Winnie had an eating disorder, Piglet had generalized anxiety and is wondering where this, "chill pill" everyone talks about, is located and would love to know how to get one...or 15, Rabbit had severe OCD, Eeyore had major depression and is looking for his happy place... for the life of him he can't remember where he put it!, & Tigger had ADHD. i am not sure which is more disturbing, this revelation or the fact that children watch it.......