Laws...who needs em...Texas

This weeks lucky state is Texas.....A recently passed anti crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.....I am not sure which planet these people hail from, but I'm pretty sure they have not met many of the criminals today. Just imagining that whole scenario right there....("Well sir the truth is, i am going to beat you to a bloody pulp right after sodomizing you with various objects around lets say eight p.m. tommorrow night.") Yeah like that is gonna go over well with the victim, i am so sure it will be the highlight of his day. You know there is a reason some people should never be allowed to make laws...........

Advice....not really

We have all at one point in our lives gotten it or will soon get it.....the minute we have our first child, our mother, and or mother in law (those lovely ones we avoid upon occasion) decide to inform us of the way OUR child should be raised like they really want the job, but we all know they don't. I just have to say to these lovely advisors that "Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?..........................

A Corner To Cry In......

I loathe when people say "i shall go to my corner and cry". The thing i have to point out is that if you do happen to have a corner to cry "in"....you take Emo's to a whole new level, you are now the God Emo with his own realm of sadness. Not only is that little piece of info a little bit too much information because no one really cares to know what you do in the corner or who you do it with but its also a little neurotic in a semi crazy way. This is an awful thing to say, but lucky for everyone i do not mind saying it. My theory of these people are that someday they will really find themselves and wish they had not............

Vagina rejuvenation!??!?!!

OMG!!! Exactly what is "vagina rejuvenation" and exactly who decides when it becomes unrejuvenated? I'm really hoping its the owner of said vagina (that sounded a little wrong). I am starting to think plastic surgeons have found another way to bleed unsuspecting women of their hard earned money, and lets be honest for some of them it is not that hard. For those who actually believe your vagina needs rejuvenating....People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect but you are doing all right.........

Laws.....Who Needs 'em.............Idaho

In honor of our lovely court system that sometimes works, its time to explore the many flaws in wacky totally uncalled for, and foolish laws. Choosing a different state each week, this week the winner is Idaho....First off...did u know that in Idaho, fishing from the back of any animal is illegal.....alrighty then. First, exactly what animals do these people fish from the back of????? And what did they do, hitch a ride on the nearest whale?????? ..............

The Likers

They are in your home, at your work, and it may even be you...The "likers" are everywhere (yeah that's it make it sound like a cult). Talking about what things are like but never what they actually are(stupid without details...yes finally its over quick). Seen them in presentations, and we all just glare, but yet we even do it yourselves...it seems like some sorta horror movie that never ends, but yet turns out to be funny when you watch it again. Seriously if the word like is something you use in every sentence or every other sentence you might wanna try picking up a dictionary...your conversation doesn't have to be made up of similes, but if you don't we'll probably still have a good laugh at you, or just be very agitated and think you have mental problems...you know like...you know..like that...ya...annoying.

Pull over...

I decided to go for a run at night to the store to get some orange juice. Nothing wrong with a simple run during the night. Completely normal, or so i thought. As I was sprinting across the street and over the hill of grass back to my room I saw a cop car. He stopped for me to let me pass the street which I ran past him thinking nothing of it until he followed me and got out of his car. and called me over to him. I was thinking to myself"what the hell is going on...i stole stuff last week..i mean". The cop car then ask me" why am i running?" and I responded honestly, because I felt like it and im heading back to my room...and thinking it couldn't get any weirder he asks for my ID...like the idiot I am I was thinking"want my registration to run too?"

Larger than Life

Recently i went to the Tennessee state fair, and i have to tell you about this sign on almost every ride. When i first saw it, i was a little caught off guard because i thought i had just misread it. This was the first time i had ever seen such a thing and it was hilarious and so worthy of my blog, the sign read "Due to the safety restraints, Larger people may not fit. sorry for any inconvenience." The very first thought that came into my head after reading this was "have we become so obese as a society that this is now a requirement and if so....OMFG!!" Its official....we have reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig........

Hmmm

I have to mention some amusing little facts that make you wonder, and have no relevance whatsoever but i was bored....first, Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark or that Debra Winger was the voice of E.T. now that is something i was not expecting. I am sure you are sitting there thinking "great, a history lesson", but trust me you do not even want me to be your history teacher, the things i might teach are most likely illegal. Did you know that the electric chair was invented by a dentist, that figures the guy or gal obsessed with teeth and sitting would be the cruel one.......